I will never forget showing pictures of myself to my ex of a time when I was four years old with a shaved head, having gone through a nine-hour long brain surgery to remove a tumor. H then said, “You look like a boy,” because my head was shaved.
My mother, who found out about this later after he and I had broken up, was mortified. She was so upset that he had said that to me.
Fast forward six years, I had gone to school for music and had finished composing/writing a song that was exceedingly important to myself, and I showed her.
“Why do you sound like a guy when you sing,” she said flatly- as her first words after the song had been going on after a little bit.
I told my guitarist what she had said, and he became increasingly upset.
What is interesting to me, is that I am so accustomed to receiving such cold statements, that I can’t even tell when they are mean. I can’t tell until someone else points it out, and then I think, “Oh yeah. That was mean,” and then whatever mean thing can haunt me forever.
Was I better off not realizing?